Psychic Surgery

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by Brian Brushwood & Jason Murphy

Being healthy is important, so you don’t ... well, die. And while everyday dietary and exercise habits are certainly a good idea to maintain good health, we all know that biology can sometimes be a dick, throwing random maladies your way for no reason whatsoever. It’s sort of like that Bill Hicks joke about Jim Fixx.

Unfortunately, there are some less-than-stellar individuals out there who are absolutely prepared to take advantage of folks looking for medical miracles. When all hope seems lost, people will cling to anything that might give them another chance at life, even if it’s something like going to see some weird-ass witch doctor who will reach directly inside you and pull out the bad stuff with his bare hands.

We know that sounds crazy, but that’s been an actual thing throughout history. Some con man claims to have disease-removing superpowers, then uses sleight of hand coupled with theatrics to perform some sort of “healing” ritual, pulling out whatever’s making you sick right in front of your very own eyes. Remarkably, it can be a pretty convincing, albeit entirely fake, display of magic surgery.

Look, we don’t claim to be experts in the world of medicine. But if some guy in the woods says he can cure your cancer if you just lay still on his table while he rips tumors out of your stomach, we’d recommend maybe not doing that.


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