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So an oppressive regime of robots or buttholes or whatever has basically enslaved humanity in some way. Hope is all but lost, because the stranglehold the evil-doers has is beyond the average individual’s ability to overcome. What might one do, save for putting your trust in the hands of a martial-arting, gun-slinging rogue?
But here, we’re more interested in what would happen if two of the most badass examples of exactly that were thrown together, cage match style. Where the cage is basically a city, because man, these women do some damage. We’re talking about Aeon Flux and Trinity, a couple of individuals who will ruin the day of ... well, everyone. But how would they fare against each other?
Aeon is dealing with the decimation of almost all of the human population because of a deadly virus, and the dude who came up with the antidote is now in power and in control of the last city on Earth. She doesn’t really know her own identity, and as it turns out, it’s because she’s a literal clone of her former self like everyone else. The virus cure has made people infertile, so they just keep making copies of the same people over and over. While her initial intent was to overthrow the Goodchild regime, she eventually learns of a larger conspiracy meant to keep the status quo, despite the fact that humans are now cured and have started to have kids naturally again.
Trinity, on the other hand, is dealing with the entire enslavement of humanity as a whole. People don’t even have their own consciousness, and instead are plugged into a virtual world meant to keep them docile while robots farm their energy to power machines. She, along with others, have escaped their captivity, and now work within their digital prison to fight those machines and try to free as many minds as they can. It's a lot like Twitter, now that I think about it.
The Round Goes To ...
Both are dealing with similar situations: rebelling against captivity. Aeon doesn’t remember her former self, but Trinity is fully aware. And while both are technically trying to free humanity, Trinity takes this one, given the worldwide scope of her responsibility and the two worlds in which she has to exist. In one, she gets to bend reality. In the other, she has to kiss a dirty, sweaty Neo. If that isn’t motivation to fix the world, I’m not sure what is.
Plus, she gets to wear those sweet sunglasses, so there’s that.
In Aeon's world, the future is awesome, what with its forward progress and way better technology and weapons. You can send messages via tongue-passed pills, or heal your former husband’s gunshot wounds with a high-tech Band-Aid. You might even happen across a contraption that allows you to slip in and out of dimensions (or something?) avoiding a pissed-off adversary’s spiky gun thing. Plus you know an awesome combo of acrobatics, martial arts and making your body do things it has no business of doing.
In Trinity's world, if you don’t know how to fly a helicopter, and you need to right now, you can just make a phone call and just download that knowledge directly into your brain. And if you were ready to go into battle, what could be better than dialing in a favor, where that favor is miles of racks of guns? Beyond that, Trinity has the ability to bend the laws of physics themselves, basically forcing the world to be her bitch.
The Round Goes To ...
While having immediate access to whatever you need is the epitome of usefulness, we’re talking about a one-on-one battle here. Given that Trinity is living in a world of 90s tech, Aeon gets the check mark here. All skills being equal, advanced weaponry and healing abilities trumps instant access to unlimited amounts of inferior technology. Plus, what--is Aeon going to pause during a kung-fu match to let Trinity phone a friend?
No VR required.
Challenges They’ve Faced
Not really knowing who you are doesn’t help matters when you’re trying to save the world from douchebags. Who’s good? Who’s bad? Why am I here? And why do I exist in a world where my friend has hands for feet? Regardless, Aeon is stuck in a place where she needs to decide whether or not to trust the evil overlord she was tasked to kill. There’s a mission to accomplish, but she remembers … something. Should she murder Trevor Goodchild, or bone him? What the hell is even going on?
Trinity, while having questions about a love interest herself (The One, no less), knows exactly who she is. But she’s also in a place where she has virtually no effect on the real world. Her power lies mostly in a land of make believe, and while her job is important, it’s still a matter of trying to battle an enemy in a reality they built and control. Oh, she’s also had to deal with a traitorous bastard who killed her friends, too, so there’s that.
The Round Goes To ...
While full comprehension of your very existence is definitely a bonus, an ability to have direct impact on the immediate threat you’re facing gives Aeon the win here. Sure, Trinity might remember her real last name and know that her previous life is a complete farce, but she can’t exactly go diving headlong into a sea of robots that will surely destroy her completely.
You can’t go wrong with throat-chops.
The Rogueiest Rogue
One of the key traits of an ideal rogue is sheer determination. It’s getting the job done, despite the risks. Even when -- no, especially when -- those risks consist of something trying to murder you horribly.
When it’s go time, Aeon is all in. She flips and fights her way straight into Bad Guy Headquarters to achieve her goal of villain assassination, and nothing is going to stand in her way ... even if her enemy is literal blades of grass or spike-shooting beehive things. She infiltrates the enemy compound and goes straight for its leader.
Trinity constantly puts her life on the line, both inside the Matrix and aboard a ship that ventures out away from the safety of Zion and into hostile robot territory. She knows the dangers: hostile machines with incredible AI and the people inside a made-up reality that’s completely controlled by those hostile machines with incredible AI. And still, she goes for it.
The Round Goes To ...
Trinity has a weak point: Agents. And when the Agents get tough, Trinity gets going. Sure, the machines control the rules of the game, but with almost instant access to all that knowledge and equipment, couldn’t she have devised some method to combat these things instead of just running away all the time? If Agents had been guarding Trevor Goodchild, Aeon would have figured out how to effectively ruin their day.
Aeon takes this round.
Though she seriously should have brought a lawn mower on this trip.
Their Coolest Scene
Toward the beginning of Æon Flux, Aeon has to get this futuristic Fabergé egg into a pool of water for reasons you already know or that are too complicated to get into. It’s a stealth mission, at night, but she wears a bright white suit anyway because she’s Aeon Freaking Flux and her bucket of craps to give is completely empty. After quietly dispatching the guards at ground level with a throwing knife, a couple of neck breaks and a face kick, she spider-crawls her way to the roof and takes two guys out with a good old-fashioned ass-beating. She then gymnastic-flips into the roof hole, attaches her getaway pulley system, and places the glowing egg into the Water Of Things That Are Happening. Mission accomplished, and it’s flawless.
The Matrix Reloaded starts off with some security guards changing shifts and wondering what the hell that noise is coming from up above them. That would be Trinity, jumping a motorcycle off of a roof. In mid-fall, she backflips off the bike, launching it into the guards’ station causing a totally unrealistic but awesome explosion, then lands confidently and gracefully like an attack-ready badass. After removing her helmet, the guards begin their assault, but Trinity calmly enters into her acrobatic kung-fu routine using her helmet as an improvised weapon that she probably named Face Basher. The last guard doesn’t meet his end by way of helmet-smacking, though -- he gets kicked, when Trinity launches her foot up and over her back to meet with his face.
The Round Goes To ...
Both scenes epitomize how unbelievably effective these two are at their craft. However, Trinity gets the point on this one, because any plan that begins with driving a motorcycle off a roof to explode something is just too awesome to ignore. It’s like an action sequence trump card.
We’re tempted to give the whole thing to Trinity, just for this scene.
AEON FLUX beats TRINITY 3-2.
Both of these ladies have superhuman acrobatic skills, unprecedented proficiency with firearms, and Doctorates in ass-kicking. Aeon just ekes this one out, though. Probably because her skill set doesn’t exist only in a virtual world, like how you’re not a sniper just because you play Call of Duty.