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Boredom isn’t something we embrace here at The Modern Rogue. We prefer to spend our time making cool things out of random crap or even blowing up cars. Which is why if there’s a more badass way to do some mundane task, we’re totally interested. Well … as long as it’s not death-defyingly dangerous like camping while hanging off a cliff or something, because that would be insane.
Camping is great, with all of its bonfires and S’mores and general outdoorsiness. It’s a great way to get away from all the hustle and bustle of everyday life and enjoy that whole “nature” thing everyone seems to be talking about. But if the idea of sitting around in folding chairs and sleeping in a tent doesn’t sound terribly exciting to you, there’s always the option of camping on the side of a freaking cliff.
Don’t be fooled -- this is not an activity exclusive to experienced mountain climbers. Cliff camping has become an activity even the rookies among us can enjoy. That is, if your idea of enjoyment involves sitting on a tiny piece of material strung hundreds of feet above ground.
That looks … relaxing? No, horrifying. We meant horrifying.
There are companies who will gladly take you up one of these cliffs and help set up and secure your portaledge, a.k.a. a tiny cliff-hanging tent. Don’t worry: You’re tied to a rope, so if you manage to roll out of your tent in the middle of the night, you won’t fall to your death (probably). And don’t think you’re restricted to eating canned goods and bananas up there. If you want to cook up some grub, they make cliff-dangling stoves for this exact activity.
Want to capture the full, pants-crappingly terrifying experience on camera? They’ve got drones for that. And speaking of crapping, what if you need to use the bathroom (we know you all were wondering)? They actually have all sorts of fancy equipment to help you out in the excreting department. However, you might want to skip bean tacos with hot sauce as a dinner option, just to be safe.
Oh, we know what you’re thinking: “This is just something adrenaline junkies do when they get bored with skydiving.” The reality, however, is that people from all walks of life are signing up to do some cliff camping. If you think about it, the experience can be seen as a form of extreme meditation. You’re pretty much stuck on that portaledge, so it’s a great way to stare out over the vast landscape and contemplate your life choices.
Like what made you decide to go cliff camping in the first place.
Long gone are the days when knitting was considered an activity of the elderly. It’s now become quite popular among younger generations, which just goes to show that millennials don’t kill everything they lay their hands on.
Of course, some people will take anything to the extreme, even Granny’s favorite hobby: introducing “yarn-bombing,” an activity that sees people using their knitting skills to dress inanimate objects like it’s some new form of graffiti.
But less destructive and way more adorable.
The idea behind yarn-bombing is to make mundane urban landscapes look brighter and friendlier, and give dull, everyday objects a more “human feel.” Which is kind of weird, considering you probably should see a military tank for what the hell it is. Nevertheless, this new guerrilla art form -- originally created by Magda Sayeg -- has been spotted all over the world, and we’ll admit that some of the projects do make us chuckle.
It kind of makes those dog scarves we knitted last winter look pretty lame right now.
Flipping Pancakes While Running
Cooking pancakes in the comfort of one’s own kitchen is so plebeian. Just kidding, but apparently that’s how the British rationalizes this strange tradition. Every year on Shrove Tuesday, also known as Pancake Day, people in the UK participate in pancake relay races.
It stems from the tale of a woman who, on Shrove Tuesday in 1445, found herself late for church because she was busy making pancakes. As the church bells started to ring, she was still flipping those pancakes, so she raced to church, frying pan in hand. Apparently that’s what it takes for Great Britain to honor you: A remarkable commitment to church and pancakes.
But mostly the pancakes.
And don’t think this is just an activity for the common folk. Members of Parliament and the House of Lords proudly participate in these races, with some even skilled in the art of pancake race cheating, which is a thing, we guess. Apparently, the trick is to hide some extra pancakes in your apron so that, if you happen to drop one, you can simply replace it with another from your secret stash. That way you won’t have to lose speed by bending down to pick it up. Or worse, get trampled on.
Politicians are ruthless people, even in a pancake race.
Look, no rule in the Book of Life says a person can’t swing from a cliff looking suave in a neatly pressed shirt. And sometimes, you need to press that shirt while you’re on that cliff, because who knows where you’ll find yourself on any given morning? Such is the life of a rogue ironing enthusiast.
Extreme Ironing means exactly what you think it means: ironing in extreme conditions. This crazy-ass hobby was created by one Paul Shaw back in the ’90s, a time where there really wasn’t much else to do besides playing Mortal Kombat and hating Courtney Love. Shaw decided it was time to get his butt off the couch and out of the house, which is why the point of Extreme Ironing is simply to tackle those pant creases in the outdoors.
Also, the more creative you get, the better. Although we’re not quite sure how this individual gets the job done:
Wait, does Extreme Pant Leg Hemming exist yet? We call dibs.
No, we’re not talking about some double-jointed yoga pose that makes you look like a multi-legged drunk Buddha. Extreme sitting is more like the skateboard of sitting:
The parkour of sitting:
The trick-jump of sitting:
This German-born street sport is called “hockern,” and honestly, we will not rest until we see this glorious sport included in the X Games. Who would have thought anything could make sitting look so gnarly? Those two German brothers who came up with this thing must’ve become really bored with simply planting their ass on a seat like a normal person. Like when they were in school and the teacher told them to sit down, did they think, “Hell yes, I’ll sit down. But how can I do it awesomely while pissing off the teacher at the same time?”
The best part is that the entire sport is totally open to creative interpretation, so you can do pretty much any sick move or air-borne trick, as long as it ends with you planting your butt onto a specialized, light-weight chair.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to practice back-flipping into our office chairs for the rest of the day while figuring out how we can combine this with cliff camping.
Wait, no ...
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