Jordan Breeding
Jordan’s work has appeared in Paste Magazine, The Hard Times, McSweeney’s, Ranker, Cracked, and gas station bathrooms the world over. He currently runs his own YouTube channel and his own Twitter.
Articles
Sure, times were different in the past. But logic should have come into play at some point during history’s weird panics.
Can’t afford a train ticket? No worries; the United States Postal Service will deliver your kid for fifty cents.
Using technology for its intended purpose is lame. We’d much rather control laser guided missiles with an Xbox controller.
You think you at least have a rough idea of where common stuff comes from … but then when you look at the history books, things get weird.
Let’s just go ahead and use this as a basic rogue-type lesson on how to NOT act when practicing the ancient art of tourism.
Some of these sentences that judges handed to criminals are so unusual, they’re not actually even legal.
Hey, we get it. Sometimes you just get fed up with playing nice and have a “screw this” moment. Never give these people a reason to reach that point.
Some of our most innocent games come with fairly dark backstories. Like the time Scrabble had to remove 200 offensive words from their official dictionary.
From five-star prison cells to an entire prison city, The Modern Rogue takes a look at some of the strangest prisons on the planet.
Vacations and 401K? Pfft. How about $11,000 in bacon-wrapped cash? Or a job that allows you to do literally nothing?
Most of the time, it’s pretty obvious why we started a lot of our routines and traditions. And then there are these things.
Cardboard cutouts, pooping geese … sandwiches? All of those and more have triggered emergency responses. And not small ones, either.
Man, if you think we have some petty, ridiculous arguments today, you should really see the ones from history. They are wonderfully stupid.
It’s one thing to lose business because your products suck. But when you have to close stores because you pissed off an entire culture, that’s next-level ignorance.
It turns out that if you look deep enough, there are some pretty weird things that can shave off thousands from your tax bill.
Gaming is awesome … until you find yourself in front of an actual judge in a real life courtroom.
The dumbest criminals are the best criminals. They are the gift that just keeps on giving.
Streaming music? Computer dating? Portable music players? All invented waaaay before you think.
The next time somebody gives you crap for playing video games, make them read this article and then demand a "thank you" from them.
Sometimes you need a simple service like an Uber. Other times, you need hot Japanese men to make you cry while at work.
From high-tech forks to drugs that cure your dog's fear of fireworks. Sometimes, we suspect we might be overthinking modern world problems.
Symbolism is hilarious.