Jordan Breeding is a writer beholden to no man or woman ... besides, you know, anybody willing to pay him. His “work" has appeared extensively in Cracked, Paste Magazine, McSweeney's, The Hard Times, Ranker and gas station bathrooms the world over. He’ll allow you to follow him on Twitter or peruse his portfolio.
More From Jordan:
by Jordan Breeding - Using technology for its intended purpose is lame. We’d much rather control laser guided missiles with an Xbox controller.
by Jordan Breeding - Let’s just go ahead and use this as a basic rogue-type lesson on how to NOT act when practicing the ancient art of tourism.
by Jordan Breeding - Some of these sentences that judges handed to criminals are so unusual, they’re not actually even legal.
by Jordan Breeding - Hey, we get it. Sometimes you just get fed up with playing nice and have a “screw this” moment. Never give these people a reason to reach that point.